Kid Icarus: Reign of Random
by Gnat1
Summary: My first fanfic. As the name implies, randomness is the main part of the story. Follow the antics of Pit and Dark Pit trying to survive the world, from the return of Medusa, to a trip to Best Buy, to the breaking of the 4th Wall, this fic will have everything. rated T just to be safe. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1: Medusa Returns Again

**A/N: Hey guys, Gnat1 here, with his first fic! as the name implies, its quite random. So enjoy, and leave a review!**

Chapter 1: Medusa returns... Again.

THUD! Pit crashed to the ground, part angry, part confused. Dark Pit aproached him. "I told you over a thousand times to stop calling me Pittoo!"

"Sorry, Pittoo, I gues I forgo-"

BAM!

Unable to finish his sentence, Pit crashed through the wall, right in front of Palutena. Palutena looked up from the Nintendo Power she was reading. "Cant you two ever get along? I'm sure the readers would appriciate it."

An Explosion was heard in the distance, Dark Pit facepalmed. "Great, you just broke the 4th wall" he said with a groan. "Sorry" Palutena said in a hoarse whisper, horror in her eyes. "Maybe they wont find us, anyway, I have an assignement for both of you.

"What is it?" Pit asked.

"Well, I have reason to believe Medusa will attempt to take over all of skyworld today".

"And what 'reason' is this?" Dark Pit implied

"Today marks the 50th anniversary of when Medusa attempted to take it over, I remember it like it was yesterday..."

*Flashback*

Medusa: "Can I have all of Skyworld?"

Palutena: "No."

Medusa: *Walks away sadly*

*End Flashback*

"Anyway" Palutena continued, "I want you to patrol Skyworld with the Centurions, Medusa is bound to come on a day like this".

"Pff, yeah, sure." Dark Pit said sarcasticly.

"I'm on it, Lady Palutena!" Pit said enthusiasticly. "But, what if she doesnt show up?"

As if on cue, the roof of Palutena's Temple ripped off, revealing Medusa and underworlders.

"AH HAHAHAHAA" Medusa laughed. "Surrender now, and you wont have to suffer!"

"Suffer what?" Pit asked as he readied a palutena bow, while Dark Pit pulled out pandora claws.

"SUFFER THIS" Medusa roared, as one of Pit's worst nightmares appeared, something that is only found lurking behind the 4th Wall: the Kid Icarus Fanatics.

"Look, its Pit and Dark Pit!" some random fan screamed.

"Get them!" another fan shouted, as all the fans pulled out chainsaws,  
weed wackers, ratchets, lazer swords, chimpanzees, and anything else  
that could be considered a weapon.

"OH, FIRETRUCK!" Pit and Dark Pit shouted simultaneously. Palutena  
activated their Power Of Flight (POF), and the duo took to the skies.  
The fans somehow sprouted pink fairy wings and took off after them.

"CAN I HAVE YUR ATAGRUPH!?" a sadistic looking fan sporting a  
chainsaw shouted at Pit.

"NO, YOU KILLED MY FATHER!" Pit replied.

"no... I AM YOUR FATHER!" the fan replied. Everyone else paused immediately.

"...wha?" Dark Pit asked.

"Naw" Pit replied. " I made the whole thing about my father up, he was  
just playing along like the S.E.F.F. (Sadistic Evil Fat Fan) he is".

"Oohhhhh..." everyone replied

Suddenly, Medusa appeared and sealed all the fans behind the 4th wall,  
then grabbed Pit and Dark Pit.

"HAW HAW" she laughed/screamed, resulting in a creepy sound that made  
Pit wet himself. "Now, I can hold both of your pathetic lives for  
ransom, until I am paid enough money so I can buy a new cannon for the  
space station colony A.R.K." and explode the world to smutherins!"

"Hey!" Dark Pit said. "Isnt that kind of a ripoff of the plot for  
Sonic Adventure 2?"

"It doesnt matter" Medusa cackled evilly.

"Whoa" Pit whispered to Dark Pit. "She's crazier than Eos".

While Pit and Dark Pit began to randomely talk about KFC, Palutena was  
thinking about a way to free the two angels. Suddenly, she had an  
idea, and spoke to one of the snakes on Medusa's head  
telepathetically.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"Yes?" the snake replied in a voice that sounded like a high pitched  
canadien squeal.

"Dont you think it would be nice to be free from Medusa's head?"  
Palutena continued.

Meanwhile, Medusa still held the two angels, while they argued about  
Charlie the Unicorn. Suddenly, all the snakes slithered off of  
Medusa's head, revealing it to be bald. Screaming, she reached up to  
cover her head, thus dropping the two angels.

Pit and Dark Pit then got in stupid battle poses, while the Seven  
Chaos Emeralds came out of nowhere and began to surround them, while Crazy Frog began to play for no actual reason at all. Suddenly, they,  
were engulfed in a white aura, and when it faded away, it revealed the  
two angels to have gold tunics and red eyes.

"EAT THIS!" they said, as they pulled up a giant loaf of bread, and  
shoved it into Medusa's face, causing her to explode instantly.

The angels then went back to Palutena's Temple to watch Wipeout and  
relax. The chaos had finally, ended, or so they thought...

**A/N: ok, the 1st chappie wasnt as good as I hoped, but they will get bgetter. Yes, this fic will contain references to Exo's KIU Adventure**  
**every once in a while. It is also (in case you havent already noticed)**  
**quite random. So, if you dont like randomness, dont read. Please R&R,**  
**and dont expect me to update quickly, it takes a bit of time.**

**Ciao!**

**-Gnat1**


	2. A trip to Best Buy

**A/N: hey all, I'm-a back with chapter 2! hopefully this will have less**  
**grammar mistakes than the last one...**

Disclaimer: I dont own Kid Icarus, Nintendo does. If I did, plans for  
a new sequel would be out by now.

Chapter 2: A trip to Best Buy

"TADA! this is my new invention, Pitto-er, I mean, Dark Pit!"

"It looks like a mini-van"

"Thats 'cause it is"

"Then whats so 'new' about it?"

"Instead of running on regular fuel, it runs on 3DS games!"

"Whoa... how did you make it, Pit-stain?"

"I've got a name, y'know! Well for your information, Palutena helped  
make it. She would place her hand on my forehead why I would think  
about what I wanted it to look like. Then, with a snap of her fingers,  
she made it appear. Its funny, the first time we tried it, I was  
thinking about evil purple ponies, and Palutena made them appear, then  
they attacked us!"

"How'd you fight them off?"

"Well, they proved to be too powerful, with their weed wackers and  
all, so I fake-cried until they felt bad and put their weapons down,  
then Palutena gave me a paper towel dispenser, and I managed to kill  
them with that."

"Ah..."

Suddenly, a knock was heard at the door. The angel-twins turned to see  
who it was.

"Um, who is it?" Pit asked.

No answer,

" Whoo iiiissss iiiiiiiittt? "

No answer.

"WHO IZZIT?!"

Still no answer.

Pit and Dark Pit then decided that they should stop being jerks and  
open the door like a gentlemen would do.

Of course, they did the exact opposite and sat down, not caring anymore.

Suddenly the door burst open and, just as they expected, Wario flew in  
on a floating broom, wearing those hats that witches wear.

"EEH HEE HEE HEE!" he said as he flew by.

The angels were speechless. They just sat there, and sat there, and set there.

-5 years later-

"Okaaay..." Dark Pit said, as he began to shave the white beard that  
had grown on him off. "Was there anything else about this mini van you  
wanted to show me?"

"Oh, yeah there was. It can-  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW WWWW!" Pit screamed as he  
yanked his beard off, along with some skin. After applying band-aids,  
Pit resumed speaking. "It can change its appearance depending on what  
game you put in it. Observe" Pit then placed a copy of Ocarina of Time  
3D in the little card slot within the car. Suddenly, it morphed into  
what appeared to be a metallic Epona, with wheels instead of feet.

"Sweet mother of Palutena, thats awesome!" Dark Pit shouted. "Lets  
take it for a spin!"

"EEH HEE HEE HEE!" Wario laughed, as he flew by again, a stupid grin  
plastered onto his face, as he ripped the Ocarina of Time 3D cartridge  
out. With another cackle, he flew off into the sunset.

"NOOOOO!" Pit shrieked, as he soiled himself. "Now we have to go to  
Best Buy and get a new 3DS game!" Pit cried like a baby.

"For goodness sake, Pit. Change your tunic!" Palutena said, as she  
entered the room, pinching her nose. "And when your done with that, I  
can simply activate your POF so you and Dark Pit can go to Best Buy."

Dark Pit sighed. Now he had to go to Best Buy, with an annoying angel  
to accompanie him! Why? Why did it have to be him?

"AAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH! WHY MUST THE AUTHOR MAKE ME SUFFER SO  
MUCH?!" Dark Pit shouted.

An explosion sounded.

"aaaaarrrggnnnn... there went the 4th wall... AGAIN." Dark Pit then  
began the art of slamming his head into the wall.

"Dont worry" Palutena said with a smile. "I created 5th-10th walls in  
case of emergency's. You should be fine."

Pit then appeared, in a clean tunic.

"Umm..." he began with a red face. "I... changed my tunic... sorry  
about that..."

Dark Pit rolled his eyes. "Can we just leave already?"

-One POF (Power Of Flight) later-

The angels landed safely in the parking lot for Best Buy. After  
glancing around, they began walking to the entrance. Suddenly, a  
flying object appeared in the sky.

"Lookit!" Pit said, tugging on Dark Pit's shoulder. "What?" he asked,  
obviously annoyed.

"Its a bird! Its a plane! IT'S..."

SPLAT!

"Ugh, its a bird." Dark Pit said, as he began cleaning the bird  
droppings off his shoulder.

After another hour of scrubbing, the duo made it inside. Unknown to  
them, they were being watched closely. VERY closely.

"Master," Wario said on his iPhone 4S, "The angels just entered the building."

"Good, all is going according to plan..." a strange voice replied.

MIDSTAGE PROGRESS.

INTENSITY: how intens can it get in Best Buy?

SCORE: 0 (they lost all their points when the bird nailed Dark Pit)

WEAPONS: their genuine Swiss army knives, duh.

"Hmm... which game should we get?" Dark Pit asked.

"Well, this one would have a zombie theme to it" Pit said as he picked  
up a copy of Resident Evil: Revelations. "But, THIS game would make  
the mini-van go much faster." he continued, grabbing a copy of Sonic  
Generations.

"Hm... how about this one?" Dark Pit asked, as he picked up Mario Party DS.

Pit's eyes widened. "No, no, no! Thats a DS game! Its 3DS games we are  
looking for! THREE... DEE... ESS! GET IT RIGHT!" Pit shouted as he  
grabbed the poor game, and chucked it at the floor. Somehow, against  
all rules of science, the game exploded upon contact with the floor,  
blowing a clean hole through it.

"For the love of chaos emeralds, Pit! What the hec?!" Dark Pit yelled  
as he grabbed Pit's tunic, preparing to punch him. "YOU CANT JUST  
CHUCK RANDOM GAMES AT THE FLOOR, YOU FUDDRUCKIN' SON OF A WITCH!"

"Gentlemen," the store manager said, as he approached the two angels.  
"Must we escort you out of the store?"

"No..." they sheepishly replied.

"Good, try to respect the other people in the building." The manager  
said as he left. When he turned his back to the angels, his appearance  
quickly changed. His eyes went from blue to blood red, as his black  
hair developed a read tint to it. He pulled out an iPhone 4S. "They  
are getting out of hand, we will strike in the next chapter."

BOOM!

"Idiot" the voice on the other line growled. "You just shattered the  
5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th emergency walls Palutena created!"

"Ut oh..." The "Manager" said, panic in his voice.

It wasnt long before an army of SEFF's flooded into Best Buy.

"OH, NO!" Dark Pit said. "The SEFF's found us! Hurry, Pit! Grab a 3DS game!"

Pit grabbed a copy of Shinobi, when Palutena suddenly teleported their  
mini-van in front of them. "Hurry, you can use it to drive out of  
there!" Palutena said.

The angels didnt hesitate to jump in the vehicle. Pit inserted Shinobi  
into the card slot. The mini-van then transformed into a black stealth  
car, driven by Jiro Musashi himself.

"Where to?" Jiro asked.

"ANYWHERE OTHER THAN THIS PLACE!" Pit screamed. Jiro then drove the  
car out and safely into the parking lot. However, he crashed into a  
STOP sign, and the car spontaniously combusted upon impact. Having  
miraculously survived, Pit, Dark Pit, and Jiro crawled out from the  
wreckage.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Pit shouted, "ALL THE HARD WORK.. FOR THIS TO  
HAPPEN?!" Pit then began to sob, like what Lucas does when he loses  
a brawl.

"Pit," Dark Pit said. "First, it wasnt that hard to make this crappy  
car, and second, stop crying like an idiot."

Alas, Pit didnt stop.

"Pit, suck it up. Its not that bad." Dark Pit continued, a hint of  
pity in his voice.

Pit puked all over the ground.

"OH MY DYNTOS, PIT! SERIOUSLY? OKAY, THAT IS PATHETIC, STUPID, AND  
DISGUSTING!" Dark Pit shouted, forcing Pit onto his feet, and  
shaking him until he stopped acting like a moron.

It was then that Jiro spoke.

"I was going to leave you angels here, but now your really begining to  
pie me off... I'm am forced to kill you." Jiro then ripped off his  
mask, revealing him to be...

"...Pikachu?" Pit asked. "um... How'd you get so tall?"

"I'll answer your pathetic questions.. when your both dead.  
PIKAAAAAAA..." Pikachu began to prepare a massive lazer beam. The  
angels closed their eyes, expecting the worst.

It never came.

The angels opened their eyes to see Pikachu with a broom stabbed  
through his chest.

Standing over Pikachu was Wario, still in his witch costume.

"Wario!" Dark Pit began. "You... you killed Pikachu, but you save us!  
Thank you!"

"Wrong..." Wario said, pulling out another broom. "I came here to kill you."

**A/N: whew! now thats done! Yes, Anubis, I am insane! Otherwise, I**  
**wouldnt be coming up with all these random ideas! Anyway, I hope**  
**everyone liked this chapter, and be sure to say your much appriciated**  
**input!**  
**Also, I'm begining another fic, a suspense filled murder mystery! So**  
**be on the lookout for that soon!**


	3. Attack of the OCs!

**A/N: this chapter will contain a few OC's, but it wont be focused on**  
**them. You'll see when u read.**

**Disclaimer: Kid Icarus belongs to Nintendo. All OC's belong to**  
**respected owners. I only own one of the OC's and this plot.**

-Chapter 3: Attack of the OC's-

"Kill US? WHY?" Pit demanded.

"Lets just say the Boss pays me well..." Wario answered. A cannon  
popped out of the end of the broom, preparing a Zero Lazer. Pit and  
Dark Pit jumped out of harm at the last minute, while the lazer hit  
the unexpecting Best Buy store manager, knocking off his disguise.

The manager was revealed to be another angelic bean... er, I mean,  
another angelic BEING. He had red eyes, jet black hair with a tad of  
red to had Wolf Claws equiped. He looked up with a smirk. "Its  
been awhile, hasnt it?"

A shaggy brown haired angel landed behind the duo, holding a pair of  
Hedgehog Claws. "Miss me, bro?"

"E-Exo? ...Cloak? how did you find us?" Pit nervously asked.

"Please, dude. Its not that hard." Cloak answered.

"And its not just us." Exo continued. "the Trinity siblings are on  
their way as well, and hopefully more."

Wario, Exo, and Cloak began to move towards the angels, who in turn  
backed up against a wall. Dark Pit looked up at the wall, and noticed  
a "4" marked on it. Could it be... the 4th Wall?

"Pit," he whispered. "When I count up to one thousand and seven, fly  
up over these three. Palutena will activate our power of flight".

Pit nodded.

"Okay... One... One and a half... ONE THOUSAND AND SEVEN!" Dark Pit  
shouted as he and Pit's wings lit up, propelling them to the sky. As  
they shot up, Dark Pit pulled out a Mario plushie, and flung it at the  
4th wall. The plushie exploded (why does everything Nintendo related  
explode in this fic?) blowing a large hole in it.

"What th-" Exo began, before he, Cloak, and Wario were trampeled by SEFFs.

Pit and Dark Pit hid in a dark ally. Pit pulled out the Shinobi box.  
"I'm going to see if the instruction manuel says anything about OC  
survival" he said, opening the box.

Lo and Behold, the box combusted upon being opened. When the smoke  
cleared, everyones favorite plumber, along with the fastest thing  
alive, appeared.

"um... Mario? Sonic? You guys mind leaving? We're trying to hide..."  
Dark Pit began.

Neither heard him. Pit noticed that Mario was wearing what appeared to  
be a Spiderman costume, while Sonic sported Green Goblin armor.  
Neither wore the masks, however.

"Mario! Stop! Its me!" Sonic began. "Thank God for you, Mario, you saved me!"

"No-a" Mario said, "You-a killed uncle Ben-a!"

"NO! That was the Goblin's doing! It's trying to take me, DONT LET IT  
TAKE ME AGAIN!" Sonic shouted.

"WHAT THE SKIPPYJOHN JONES ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?" Pit demanded.

Both glared at him.

"Well..." Sonic began, "We WERE reinacting the first Spiderman movie..."

"But you-a ruined everything!" Mario continued. "Letsa do it somewhere  
else-a, Sonic, so THEY wont interfere!" With that, Mario and Sonic  
disappeared in a clap of thunder.

"That... was messed up" Dark Pit said, after an awkward 5 minutes of silence.

"Yeah" Pit replied, "Sonic didnt even have the goblin glider! So low budget..."

"That wasnt what I meant, but whatever. And just for the record, I'm  
never buying another 3DS game again."

Silence took over for another five minutes, until Mars, the War god,  
busted in with an electric guitar, singing in some dorky voice.

"I JUST DONT UNERSTAND WHY YA COULDNT LETTIT IN, I TRY MA' BEST 4  
NUTHIN, WELL I HOPE YA GOT UR FIX! AH JUST COME TO REASON, AH STILL  
CANT LETTIT GO, GET CAUGHT UP IN DA' FEELIN WELL BY NOW YA THINK I  
KNOW, YAH.  
EVERYTIME AH FELL INTO PIECES, YOOOOUUUU WERE, ALWAYS THE LAST ONE FOU-"

"SHUT... UP!" Dark Pit screamed, grabbing his guitar and breaking it in half.

Masahiro Sakurai appeared. "Now, now, Dark Pit, you know I dont like  
you being violent. Be careful, or you wont be in Super Smash Bros. 4"

"Actually, I dont think he will make it anyway" Pit began, but was  
then interrupted by Sakurai.

"SSHHHHHHH! NOT SO LOUD!"

Sakurai then disappeared, while Exo and Cloak somehow found them, and  
dropkicked the poor duo sky high.

The angels crashed through what could only be an office building,  
right in front of an office desk.

"Oh, hey guys." Magnus said from behind his computer. "Yeah, I just  
got a new job here."

"Oh..." Pit said, "Sorry about the wall" he pointed at the giant hole  
they made.

"Oh, dont worry about it, I throw my boss through that same wall all  
the time. No biggie. He usually yells at me, and say  
'LSHIFOMDJKIDHADBIIDINIW' then I chuck him through the wall. Its  
hilarious!"

"Pardon me asking," Dark Pit began, "but what do you mean when you say  
LSHIFOMDJKIDHADBIIDINIW?"

"It stands for 'Laughed So Hard I Fell Off My Dinosaur, Just Kidding,  
I Dont Have A Dinosaur But If I Did I'd Name It Wilburt'" Magnus  
answered without a blink.

"Okaaaay... Magnus, you should see a psychiatrist or something..." Pit  
said, creeped out. He and Dark Pit jumped out the window, Batman  
style, and began to fly. Suddenly, three more angelic beings appeared,  
having to be none other than the Trinity siblings.

"Long time, no see" Muse growled.

"Let us finish you..." Eos laughed evilly.

"Can someone please tell us why you want us dead?" Pit asked, while  
hugging his Power Ranger doll.

"Simple." Anubis answered. "We were bored."

"Dont worry, Pit, we can take the three of them." Dark Pit assured with a growl.

Anubis laughed, "Dark Pit, who said ANYTHING about fighting the three of us?"

A limousine pulled up, and none other than Crush 40 stepped out. They  
instantly began playing "Seven Rings In Hand". Pit could only guess  
what that meant.

Anubis, Eos, and Muse all combined into what could only be seen as a  
silhouette against the bright sun, as he, or is it a she? I'll just go  
with it. REROLL!

Anubis, Eos, Muse all combined into only what could be seen as a  
silhouette against the bright sun, as IT spoke these threatening  
words: "I AM TRINITY! I HAVE THE COMBINED FORCE OF ALL THREE OF ME,  
er, that sounded cheesy, um... let me rephrase that... I HAVE THE  
COMBINED POWER OF ANUBIS, EOS, AND MUSE! U... R... HISTORY!"

Cloak and Exo then appeared alongside Trinity.

"NOW you can take the three of us." Exo said with a smirk.

"Holy Smashballs" Pit said, as he hugged his doll again.

MIDSTAGE PROGRESS  
SCORE: idk, who cares?  
INTENSITY: against Trinity... I'd say 10.7  
WEAPONS: a Power Ranger doll, and a toaster. Woop-de-doo.

Trinity was about to crush them, when Sonic, still in his goblin gear,  
flew up on his glider and grabbed Trinity by the neck.

"Where is he?" Sonic demanded.

"What are you-"

"WHERE IS THE DUDE WHO TAKES PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN!?"

"I dunno what your talking about"

"Your LYING!" Sonic yelled, squeezing tighter. Unknown to him, Trinity  
wasnt being chocked at all by the hedgehog.

"Hey-a stupid! Pick on-a someone your own size-a!" Spider-Mario said,  
coming down on a web. They began an epic battle, while Trinity, Cloak,  
and Exo decided to go home, not caring anymore.

A thud was heard behind the angel twins, they turned to see two more  
angelic beings. Dark Pit groaned, "How many more of you are there?"

"Dark, Rio" Pit addressed the two angels, "You saw us defeat Trinity,  
you dont want us to do the same to you."

Dark, the black haired angel, laughed, while Rio, her blue haired  
sister answered. "From what I saw, Spider-Mario stopped Trinity, along  
with the Blue Goblin."

Pit gulped. "Yea... well... we're still gonna send you back to where  
you came from! I'm gonna..." he picked up a rock, "um... I'm gonna  
throw this rock so hard it'll hurt! ...later", he suddenly grabbed  
himself in an awkward way. "Ooh! I gotta take a weez!" Pit then ran to  
the nearest bathroom.

"NO, PIT!" Dark Pit cried out, "DONT LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE!" Dark then  
kicked him in the gut, resulting in a sadistic growl from Dark Pit, as  
his eyes began to glow green.

"HULK..." he shouted, "SMAAAAAASSSSHHHH!" he then transformed into  
a giant green fatman.

"GREAT MOON OF POSIEDON, ITS THE HULK!" Rio cried out as the two  
sisters ran away, horrified. But not before Dark dropped an explosive  
cookie box, which exploded in the Hulks face, knocking him out cold.

The real Dark Pit appeared, holding an ice cream. "What'd I miss?" he  
asked as he ate the ice cream.

"I dunno..." Pit said, coming out of the bathroom. "I see Dark and Rio  
about to kill us, I go to the bathroom, then I come out to see a  
sleeping Hulk."

"Hmm... this has been a lousy day..." Dark Pit said.

"I wanna go home now" Pit whined.

"Whatever" Dark Pit said, who was busy trying to process everything  
that just happened. Palutena then abducted them using her  
ligh-suction-tube-beam-thingy, and brought them back home.

**A/N: GASP! SO TIRED! I MUST SLEEP! ITS LIKE... MIDNIGHT! ok, hope this**  
**was a good chapter. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I cant remember**  
**all your names at the moment, I'm sorry, just too tired. I gotta go to**  
**bed...**

**Seeyuh!**

**-Gnat1**


	4. Smash Wipeout Part 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, yadda yadda yadda...**

-Chapter 4: Smash Wipeout, Part 1-

"GOOD MORNING AMERICA! OR... WHEREVER THE HEC YOUR WATCHING THIS, AND  
WELCOME TO ANOTHER EPISODE OF SMASH WIIIIPPPEEEEOOOOOUUUTTTT!"  
Marth screamed into a mic. He wore his hair in an afro that day. Popo  
stood at his right, wearing nerdy glasses. Popo signaled to the heavy  
metal band (which was set up on a platform over the water) to start  
playing. This band consisted of Snake on the electric guitar, Luigi on  
the keyboard, Falcon on the bass, Bowser at the drums, and Lucas and  
Diddy Kong as the lead singers. They busted out playing "Welcome to  
the Jungle". Fox, Falco, and Wolf flew their arwings over the course,  
using those cloud design things showplanes have, to create the image  
of a Smashball over the Wipeout course.

"Hey, NO UNAUTHORIZED FLYING VEHICLES!" DK shouted, as he shot the  
three arwings down with a cannon.

"Before we begin, let me give y'all a news flash" Popo said, shuffling  
papers. "*ahem* Spider-Mario and the Blue Goblin have been spotted in  
San Fransisco. Citizens are advised to stay indoors. Once known as  
Mario and Sonic, these creatures have been marked as Extremely  
Dangerous". Marth facepalmed as he spoke, "I told them not to redo  
Spiderman... anyway, on to you, Ness!"

Ness, who was at the begining of the Wipeout course, began speaking.  
"Thanks, Marth! Today's victims, er... contestants, are four brave  
souls that-"

"HEY!" Jill Wagner shouted, approaching Ness. "Thats my job! Your  
stealing my job!"

"SECURITY!" Ness screamed. DK appeared and threw Jill Wagner at least  
150 miles per hour, in a random direction. Ness resumed speaking.

"Anyway, todays contestants are Link, Samus, Pit, and Meta Knight!"

Cheers erupted from the audience as the four brave souls stepped  
forward, and waved at the crowds of... pikmin. Yeah, no one came to  
watch except Pikmin and a few Toads. Everyone else was watching it on  
TV.

"Okay, Samus is the first contestant!" Marth shouted.

Samus ran through, past the wall with all of the punching thingies  
with ease. She then approached the Smashballs, giant inflated  
Smashballs. She bounced around before she rocketed 100 feet... off the  
course. People expected to see her land in the water, instead, she  
splatted on the grass. Her power suit exploded (why she chose to wear  
that, nobody knows) as an ambulance came and the paramedics took her  
to the hospital.

"Aaaaaannndd she was no match for the Smashballs!" Marth said. "Next  
up is Link!"

Link made it far enough until he actually passed the Smashballs (after  
puking a few times, but HEY, he made it!), and approached the next  
obstacle.

"He now approaches our latest obstacle" Popo said, "the Xtreme Bungee Cord!"

Link stupidly attached the bungee to his belt loop. He looked up at  
the platform he was supposed to bungee-jump to. With a deep breath, he  
jumped off, free-falling until the bungee caught him.

RIIIIIIPP!

Link's panse got ripped off as he plummeted to the water below.

"AUGH! Children, cover your eyes!" Ness shouted, stepping in front of  
the camera so nothing could be seen.

"Um... DK's bringing some extra panse for Link... next up, is Meta  
Knight!" Marth called out.

After falling into the mud a few times, he made it to the Smashballs.  
He looked down at them with fear. He had to do it... NOW! No... not  
yet... okay... NOW! What, is he scared? META KNIGHT, MOVE YOU MORON!  
Meta Knight finally built up his courage. With a tremendous jump, he  
leapt toward the first Smashball.

POP!

For some idiotic reason, he held his sword out in front of him,  
causing the giant balloonish thing to explode. With fascinating  
impact, he slammed into Diddy Kong, who was still singing, mind you,  
and they both fell into the water. Peach, the lifeguard, got them out  
of the water, using Kirby as a lifeboat.

"Last up is Pit." Ness said from the course, obviously very worried  
about the three injured participants, along with an injured rockstar.

Not wanting to face his possible death, Pit easily flew over  
everything, courtesy of Palutena. However, just as he was nearing the  
finish, a stupid bird slammed into him. He fell onto one of the  
Smashballs and boosted up 367 feet. With Sonic Speed, he slammed into  
the finish, just as injured as the others.

"Oh man..." Marth said. "Um... are contestants will be healed by  
Master Hand before moving on to the Smashout Zone. We'll be back after  
these few messages."

**A/N: I had fun with this one XD. How did ya'll like it? As soon as I**  
**finish this little story arc, I'll move on to the classic Kid Icarus**  
**randomness we've grown to know and love. Please R&R, and stay tuned**  
**for Part 2!**

**Ciao!**

**-Gnat1**


	5. Smash Wipeout Part 2

**Disclaimer: Unless I somehow magically took over Nintendo, Kid Icarus**  
**stil belongs to them. So... yeah, I dont own anything 'cept the plot.**  
**SURPRISE!**

** -Chapter 5: Smash Wipeout, Part 2-**

Before we get back, Smash Wipeout would like to thank its great sponsers:

LonLon Dairy, finest dairy in Hyrule

Altean Market: Providing for the kindom 'till the end.

Norfair Heating Co.

Uncle Chuck's Chilidogs, Serving Mobius since 1991

Toadstools Bakery

and Pikmin-Cola, the original and best.

"Welcome back, folks! Todays Smashout course is better than ever. What  
do you think, Popo?"

"Not sure if their up for it, Marth. Today we've put in a few new  
things, hopefully all goes well. Lets take a look with Ness."

Marth and Popo then signalled ROB, the camera man, to start the camera  
at the Smashout course, where Ness was. With a loud strum on the  
guitar, Snake led the heavy metal band into "Little Black Submarines",  
by the Black Keys. Ness began speaking.

"Today the victims, darn it, I mean, targets will AHEM! *sigh* The  
CONTESTANTS will start out by launching off our mega water slide,  
traditionally. They will then navigate accross a balance beam while  
dodging swinging blocks. They will move on to the mega Smashballs,  
before our new attraction: The Carousel of Death." He pointed to a  
rapidly spinning carousel loaded with machetes, chainsaws, and machine  
guns before continuing. "They must then make it through the spinning  
islands with all the walls, then finally be done."

The audience of Pikmin, Toads, and now Goomba's, Metroids, Skuttlers,  
Gorons, Mobians, some Humans, and, of course, anthropomorphic turtles  
cheered as Pit, Samus, Meta Knight, and Link stepped out and waved.

"Alright, Samus is first!" Ness said.

Samus slid down the water slide. Or, technically she scraped down the  
water slide. Yep, she still had her power suit on. She launched off  
the ramp at the end of the slide, and flew through the air. This  
lasted precisely 0.0001 of a second before she whumped into the water,  
the weight of her power suit dragging her to the bottom instantly.  
After being rescued by DK, she made it to the balance beam. Of course,  
she was so heavy that it broke right when she stepped on it. Remember,  
Kids: Never wear a Power Suit when participating in a Wipeout Show.  
Needless to say, DK had fun swimming 120 feet down to get her.

Meta Knight was next. He flew off the slide and across the balance  
beam. He stopped before the major Smashballs. He was about to jump,  
when...

"FA-LA, LA LA LA LA, SING A HAPPY SOOOONNGG! a tiny blue guy with a  
beard sang as he sat on the Smashball.

"Papa Smurf!" Meta Knight shouted, taking out his sword. "FIGHT ME!"  
He then chased the poor little guy all the way to Peru, South America.

"Oookkaaaaaayyy..." Ness said awkwardly, "Lets move on to Link..."

Link launched off, and in midair, to everyones horror, ripped his  
tunic off. Ness covered the camera as screams were heard from the  
audience. Still in midair, Link changed into his Blue Zora Tunic and  
his Iron Boots. With those, he landed and simply walked through the  
course, underwater. The only way back up, however, was through the  
Carousel of Death, so he headed up the underwater stairs and stood  
before the evil Carousel. He jumped in.

Um... Lets just say that if I explained what happened in there, I  
would have to give this story an M rating. Good thing Master Hand  
revived him, well, what was left of him.

"Oh, man, that was sick!" Marth said as he puked into a bucket. "Um,  
Ness will be back, he's busy washing himself off. In case you didnt  
see, he barfed all over himself. Anywho, Pit is next."

Once again, Pit flew over everything. He was about to touch the finish  
when, no not a bird, but a chunk of the ceiling fell on top of him. A  
hole had been blown through the roof. Demonic laughter was heard  
throughout the stadium as the Blue Goblin appeared. Spider-Mario was  
next to come, but, instead of fighting each other, they worked as a  
team to destroy everything they saw.

"AH HAHAHAHA! NO ONE CAN STOP US!" The Blue Goblin (Sonic) roared.

"Yeah, we-a are-a gonna bring all of you-a to your knees!"  
Spider-Mario (Mario, duh) shouted.

"No, not ME!" a deep voice shouted, "Neither of you can take the  
amazing... SPAGHETTI MAN!" a man made entirely of spaghetti shouted.

"I-a love spaghetti!" Mario yelled, and easily ate the wannabe superhero.

"OH, THAT DOES IT!" Pit yelled as he brought up a weapon of legend:  
the telivision set. With a battle cry, he chucked it at a suprised  
Blue Goblin and a super fat Spider-Mario. Neither survived.

"Hey, you saved us!" Popo shouted, "You win our prize of 3000 Smashcoins!"

"Aaannddd..." Marth said, "The complete series of Dream Defenders!"  
Pits eyes widened into what could only be horror. "YOU LIKE DREAM  
DEFENDERS!? MARTH, YOU CAN BE A VACCUM, CAUSE YOU SUCK! I'll take the  
Smashcoins, though." A shocked Popo quickly handed him the Smashcoins  
as a spotlight abductor surrounded Pit.

As Pit floated up to Skyworld, he shouted these final words: "AND  
MARTH, GET A HAIRCUT!"

"Um... lets not invite him again." A somewhat offended Marth said.  
"Anywayz, come back next time, for SMAAAAAAAAASSSHHH  
WIIIIIIIIIIPPEEEEOOOOOUUUTTT T!"

Meanwhile, Pit floated up to Skyworld in the spotlight abductor. It  
seemed to be taking longer than usual, so he decided to sing.

"CANT HOLD OOOOOONNN MUCH LONGER, BUT I WILL NEEEEVER LEET GOOOOOO! I  
KNOW ITTSA OOOONNEEE WAY TRAAAACK, SOMEONE TELL ME HOW LONG THIS'LL  
LAST!"

He sang so horribly that birds were beating him up with big sticks.

"Um, Lady Palutena? Think you could hurry up?"

-One hour later-

"Sheesh. It NEVER takes this long!" Pit said as he continued floating  
up. "YO, TAXI!" he shouted as a yellow cab flew by. Alas, it was  
full.

-Another hour later-

Pit laughed his head off as he continued watching "Unbelievable Dog"  
on Youtube, via his Samsung Galaxy Tab.

-Another hour goes by-

"99 BOTTLES OF COKE ON THE WALL, 99 BOTTLES OF COOOOKE! TAKE 1 DOWN,  
PASSIT AROUND, 98 BOTTLES OF COKE ON THE WALL!"

-And yet ANOTHER hour goes by-

"36... bottles... coke onda wall... 36 bottles of coke... take it  
down... smash it on the ground... Sweet Posiedon, Im bored! LADEE  
PALLUUUTEEEENNNAAAAAAAAA! PLEASE, HURRY IT UP! I'M NOT EVEN IN  
THE STRATOSPHERE YET!"

"Okay, Pit, I'm here." Palutena said at long last.

"WHAT IN THE LIFE OF DAVY HOWHEAD TOOK YOU SO FREAKISHLY LONG!?" Pit demanded.

"Pit, you know I dont like that tone."

"But these Smashcoins are heavy!"

"I had the spotlight abductor set to 'auto suction', It takes a couple  
days longer. I had to clean up the temple."

"...Why?"

"For our guests, remember? Viridi and Phosphora are coming to dinner."  
Palutena said as she finally teleported Pit to Skyworld. Only one  
thought went through Pit's mind: Fear.

**A/N: Whew, that was quite a bit of writing. So, heres what to expect**  
**for the next chapter: Pit returns to Skyworld only to find that**  
**Palutena has invited Viridi and Phosphora over for dinner, OH, THE**  
**HORROR! Anyway please R&R, and be sure to check out my other two**  
**fanfics: The Echo (a Sonic fanfic) and SSB: Murderhouse (a Smash Bros.**  
**fanfic)**

**Ciao!**

**-Gnat1**


	6. A Peaceful Dinner NOT!

**A/N: sorry it took so long to update, guys. I went to Portland, Oregon**  
**with my family to attend a memorial service of a dear friend...**  
**BUT, I'm back now!**

**Cloak: BOOYAH, BRO!**

**Thunder: SNATZAPAZOOKA!**

**Tropic: LSHIFOMDJKIDHADBIIDINIW**

**Gnat1: Who the hec r u?**

**Tropic: I'm Tropic, mate! Tropic of Viridi's ahrmy. G'day to ya!**

**Gnat1: Oh, right. Your my newest OC. Maybe I'll use you.**

**-Chapter 6: A Peaceful Dinner (NOT!)-**

"ARGH!" Pit shouted. Palutena had sent Pit and Dark Pit up to clean  
their room. While there, Pit was trying to update his fanfiction, but  
he had a problem.

"I WROTE THIS STUPID FANFIC ON MY EMAIL! HOW IN PALUTENA'S NAME AM I  
SUPPOSED TO SUBMIT IT AS A DOCUMENT?!"

Not wanting to answer Pit personally, Dark Pit scribbled a message  
down on a peice of paper. He handed the note to Pit, which read as  
follows:

C&P

Pit stared at it, like how a cow stares at an oncoming train.

"...See and pee? WHAT THE HELICOPTER IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?"

"No, idiot..." Dark Pit said, facepalming. "It STANDS for 'Copy &  
Paste'. Now, shut up and upload the stupid chapter. What fanfic is  
this anyway?"

"A Dark Pit x Phosphora fanfic." Pit said without a blink. Dark Pit's  
eyes popped open.

"ME X PHOSPHORA? EW! EW EW EWWWWW!" he screamed. "IF YOU UPLOAD  
THAT, THEN I SWEAR I'M GOING TO UPLOAD MY 'HOW PIT FAILED FLIGHT SCHOOL' FANFIC!"

"You wouldnt."

"You can bet a herd of cows I would!"

On cue, a stampede of cows ran through the room, trampeling the angel twins.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Pit shouted, "NOW WE HAVE TO CLEAN THIS WHOLE ROOM ALL  
OVER AGAIN! THIS WHOLE *beeeeeeeepp* ROOM!" he collapsed on the  
ground, hugging a stuffed Minnie Mouse plushie. After realizing this,  
however, he chucked the plushie out the window.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Both angels paled.

"Thats them..." Dark Pit said, fear in his voice. "Okay, I'll get the  
door, you go get Palutena." Pit nodded. Dark Pit approached the door  
cautiously. With a deep breath, he opened the door. He screamed in  
horror as a giant beaver sat on him.

"Heh, sorry." Viridi said, coming through the door. "Thats my pet, he  
followed us here." Phosphora then grabbed the massive beaver and  
warped him back to wherever he came from, via chaos control.

-Meanwhile-

"LADY PALUTENNNNAAAAAAAAA!" Pit shouted, looking in her room.  
"Nope, Not here. Maybe she's in the hot spring room." And, being the  
occasionally stupid angel that he is, he walked right into the room. I  
cant explain everything that happened in there, but it went something  
like this:

"AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHH"

"Whoa! Lady Palutena, I'm sorry!"

"PIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE, CANT YOU SEE I JUST CAME OUT?!"

"Oh! Well, now that you... now that you... now that you mention it..."

"PIT, YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOCK FIRST! WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS LATER!"

"*gulp* O-Okay, b-but Viridi and Phosphora are here."

"I'll be out in a minute, just GET OUGHTA HERE!"And with that, Palutena slammed the door in his face.

"Sheesh." Pit said. He then knocked on the door impatiently. "Lady Palutena, can you hurry up?"

"Listen, Pit. I'm trying to hurry. I'll be out as soon as I can. Why dont you and Dark Pit go down to the store and get some groceries?" Palutena said through the door. She slipped a list under the door while she spoke. "Here's a list."

Pit nodded, snatched up the list, ate a turkey, then made his way out to the main room.

"Umm... make yourselves at home, Lady Palutena will be out in a minute." He said to Viridi and Phosphora. He went over to Dark Pit.

"Hey, Pittoo, Lady Palutena wants us to pick some groceries up" He said, waving the list around like an idiot. Dark Pit grabbed his ear with a toenal clipper and pulled.

"OWOWOWOWOWOWOW!"

"Do you remember what we talked about?" Dark Pit hissed."Um, how pancakes can be used to patch a roof?"

"No, BEFORE THAT!"

"How... Gnat1 hates us?"

"No Pit, DONT-"

It was too late. An all-too-familiar explosion sounded in the background.

"Great." Dark Pit sighed, hand on his forehead. "Thanks for breaking  
the 4th wall, Pit. Now... WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU CAN'T CALL ME  
PITTOO ANYMORE!" He shouted so loud that Pit's hair had been blown  
back until he was stuck looking like an anthropomorphic hedgehog.

"Okay, Dark Pit..." he said, as calmly as possible. "Look, we have to  
go get groceries, OKAAAAAY?"

"Fine." Dark Pit replied. He put the toenail clippers down and the  
angels made their way outside the temple. They continued walking until  
they were at the edge of the temple, overlooking the earth, which was  
miles down.

"Should'nt we ask Palutena to activat our POF?" Dark Pit asked.

"Naw, she's kind of crabby right now."

"So, what are we gonna do? Jump off?"

"Well, DUH!"

"Why did I ever decide to live here anyway?"

"uuuhhaaauue"

"What was that?"

"hm?"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

"I... didnt say anything."

"Never mind..."

The duo then took a deep breath, and jumped. The fall was fascinating!  
They saw many things. Clouds, clouds, thin clouds, a monkey with a  
sombrero, clouds, and the remains of an alien ninja. But none of those  
were important. What WAS important was that the speed caused them to  
turn into fireballs. With rocket-like force, they smashed into the  
ground, creating a crater in a Wal-Mart parking lot. When they got up,  
however, they found the store to be blown to pieces. It was ruined.  
Fires, falling bricks, everything.

"What happened here?" Dark Pit asked a nearby police officer. The  
Officer sighed before answering.

"The place was attacked by SEFFs. Apparently, some idiot had brocken  
the 4th wall." the Officer then made his way to a police car, leaving  
the angels. Dark Pit glared at Pit, who gave a nervous chuckle.

THUD!

What was that? The angels turned to see where the 'THUD!' had come  
from. They saw a male angel that had landed on the ground. He had a  
green tunic, green wings, blonde hair with long bangs that covered one  
eye, and a pair of Viridi Claws.

"G'day, mate" He said with an evil grin. "Da' names Tropic, mate.  
Tropic of Viridi's ahrmy. I've been oidered to exterminate ya." He  
spoke in a thick austrailian accent. He then picked up a big stick and  
began beating the beet juice out of the angels.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow." Pit said. He then grabbed a nearby car and, with  
godlike strength, smashed Tropic with it. Suddenly, the pavement collapsed under the angels. They cried and screamed as they fell down into a hole that was created. After an hour of falling, they landed in a underground bathroom.

"Ouch... where are we?" Pit asked. A toilet was heard flushing while one of the stall doors opened, and Diddy Kong came out.

"Hey, guys. I'm Diddy Kong, and I come here every Wednesday."

"OMBBQ, A TALKING MONKEY! DIE!" Dark Pit shouted, holding a chainsaw. He decided to use it to rip Diddy Kong to peices.

Suddenly, Palutena's  
spotlight abductor shot down and sucked the angel twins back up to  
Skyworld.

Palutena met them with a smile, but for some reason, her eyes were a  
red color. "Don't worry about the groceries, Godzilla brought them for  
us." she said.

"G-Godzilla?" Pit asked in fear. Just then, Godzilla ripped the roof  
of Palutena's Temple off and began dancing to some hard rock music.

"Okaaaay..." Dark Pit said. "Um... should we start fixing dinner now?"

"Naw" Palutena said. "We ate why you guys were gone."

"YOU WHAT?!"

"Now, Now, dont worry." Viridi said, coming up, her eyes also red.  
"Palutena and I will activate your POF and you guys can go down to  
Pizza Hut."

The angels agreed and were soon flying through the sky. They flew on  
and on, until suddenly, their POF ran out, and they plummeted down to  
who-knows-where.

Palutena, Viridi, and Phoshpora laughed evilly.

"So long, boys!" Palutena called out.

"Excellent work." a figure said, coming out from the shadows. He began  
talking to himself.

"Mind controlling the godesses is easy. Having Viridi send Tropic down  
to kill them was a snap. But when that plan failed, I had to do it the  
harsh way. Pit and Dark Pit are finished. Excellent work, ladies."

"Thank you, master." Palutena said.

The figure laughed, and then spoke again. "I never fail. I am LOKI,  
the norse god of evil!"

**A/N: DUN DUN DUUUUN! There ya go. A stupid, pointless cliffhangar.**  
**So, yeah, the goddesses have been enslaved by Loki, and our heroes are**  
**plummetting to a certain death. Or are they? Tune in next time for**  
**"Lost on an Island"! Until then, be sure to leave a review!**

**Ciao!**

**-Gnat1**


	7. Lost on an Island

A/N: Y'all probably thought I forgot this fic. WELL YOUR WRONG! WHA HA  
HA HA! IT SHALL LIVE ON!

Disclaimer: Do I LOOK like I own Kid Icarus? Oh, wait, you can't see  
me, because this is just a bunch of letters. Whatevah.

-Chapter 7: Lost on an Island-

Dark Pit opened his eyes slowly to find himself on a beach. A lush  
tropical forest sat behind (In reality, a forest can't sit. Deal with  
it.), while crystal clear waters stood before him (water doesn't stand  
either). He got up groggily, dusting off his wings. He turned to see  
Pit sleeping in front of him, so he pulled out an epic bucket of water  
(Orchestral music played out of it) and dumped it over the other  
angel.

"DON'T HURT MY BABY COW!" Pit shouted as he leaped up. After realizing  
they were stuck on a island without anyone at a five mile radius (in  
other words, no one had a ten mile diamater, because that would be  
REALLY fat), he sobbed in the sand.

"BWAHAHAHAHA!" Loki shouted as he teleported down onto a large stage.

"I ENSLAVED YOUR PRECIOUS GODDESSES, WEAKLINGS! YOU DON'T STAND A  
CHANCE!" he shouted triumphantly.

"Er, I know this is kinda off topic, but aren't you from the Marvel  
Universe?" Pit asked.

"Yes, of course! What realm is this?" Loki said impatiently.

"Well..." Dark Pit began, "Your in a magical world called  
, where all of us get put into random stories. Pit and I  
are from 'Kid Icarus', which is part of the Nintendo Universe, and..."

*One long, boring explanation later...*

Loki looked as if he would die of boredom. Dark Pit rambled on about  
how Gnat1 had been torturing them, and how the reviewers only  
encouraged it.

"Look, thats a great speech," Loki began, interrupting the angel.  
"...But I believe you broke the 4th wall."

Dark Pit blinked.

Pit blinked.

Both angels prepared for the oncoming horrors, as the dark shadows of  
S.E.F.F.'s closed in around them...

Suddenly, Loki pulled out a kareoke, and began rocking out to "Live to  
Rise", by Soundgarden. Lights flashed around the beach, as a mirror  
ball hung from a nearby palm tree. His epic dance move caused all of  
the S.E.F.F.'s to explode into donuts.

Pit gulped. "H-How did y-you do that?"

"Its all in the music, kid." Loki said as he acted like a pro, in  
which he really wasn't. He then disappeared in a flash of blue  
confetti.

"Okaaaaay... I'm gonna go look for civilization." Dark Pit yawned as  
he wandered into the jungle. He hiked past swamps, around a mountain,  
and straight through a tree before coming across a beach on the other  
side of the island.

There was a town! There was a Holiday Inn Express, a McDonalds, and a Best Buy.

"YEEEEAAAAH! WE'RE SAVED!" Dark Pit shouted, running towards the  
town. Suddenly, his foot kicked a nearby coconut, causing it to fly in  
the air. The coconut hit the Holiday Inn sign, causing it to fall. It  
crashed through the McDonalds, slamming into a propane tank. Dark Pit  
watched as the town exploded.

With a sorrowful sigh of sappy sadness, he made his way back to where  
Pit was. When he arrived, he found his cheerful counterpart playing a  
guitar, singing along with the tune.

"My little dog Lassie, ran away..." he sang sadly.

"C'mon, Pit! Get up!" Dark Pit growled impatiently.

"My little dog Lassie ran away... to the moon." he continued.

Dark Pit stopped. "Wait... what?"

"Oh yeah, that was the day... that Lassie... WENT TO THA  
MOOOOOOONNNN!" Pit burst out with several guitar strums. His  
music was interrupted when Dark Pit threw a coconut at him.

"WHOA, WHATS THE DEAL MAN?" Pit asked angrily. He then pulled a pie  
out and slammed it into his dark counterpart. Dark Pit was about to  
launch another attack when suddenly the entire continent of Antartica  
slammed down beside the island.

"WHAT THE-" both angels shouted in unison. After staring at it for a  
good eleventy-seven minutes, they decided to explore it...

TO BE CONTINUED.

A/N: GASP! ANTARTICA HAS APPEARED!

xyzpet, LOL! That review made me laugh XD

Mario013, Thanks! Yeah, Godzilla is under Loki's control (He will be  
back later BTW)

Xero tne Pyr0, You almost succeeded! Keep practicing!

This fic may go on a hiatus, because I kinda dug myself in a hole with  
all the stories I'm writing. If you need some humor, though, check out  
The Movie Studio and A Super Smashin' Christmas (which should be up  
soon if not already).

Ciao!

-Gnat1


	8. Exploring Antartica

**A/N: Sorry for the horrendously long wait, y'all. I haven't been able**  
**to update this in a LOOOOOOOONNNGGG time...**

**Anyway, special thanks to reveiwers of the last chapter, now let it begin!**

**VvVvVvV**

Pit and Dark Pit stood on the sandy beach, staring curiously at Antartica, the extremely cold continent that somehow managed to crash-land just two feet off of the island's shore.

"Wow... so... should we explore Antartica?" Pit wondered aloud.

Dark Pit shrugged. "IDK..."

"LOL!" Pit replied.

"IKR!?"

"Nope, LSHIFOMDJKIDHADBIIDINIW!"

"CAN YOU TWO STOP SPEAKING IN TXT LANGUAGE AND EXPLORE THE FREAKIN'  
CONTINENT?" Loki shouted angrily, appearing out of an oversized  
donut box.

The two angels glared at Loki, not because he shouted at them, but  
because he was standing in their favorite donut box. After several  
minutes of intense glaring, they shrugged and flew into the main  
entrance of Antartica, forgetting that they couldn't fly.

"Um... Pitoo? We can't fly..." Pit pointed out.

Dark Pit looked down and finally noticed that they were flying. "Hey,  
you're right! How did- AAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!" he screamed as he  
crashed down into the freezing wonder of Antartica.

"Ouch..." he groaned. Pit rode down on a mutated chipmunk.

"RRRRAAAAARRRGGHHH!" the chipmunk rargh'ed, before doing the Gangnam.

Pit stared at the creature, before quickly hopping off of it. "That  
thing's creepy..."

"Ar har har har har!" Mr. Krabs laughed, jumping down where the angel  
twins were.

"Ahoy there, boys! Care to help me find me cash register?" he asked.

Dark Pit blinked. "Um... how about 'no'? We've got enough things to do  
as it is."

In response, Krabs angrily roared and beat the Dark Pit with an  
electric keyboard.

After a few more hours of beating angels senseless, they embarked on  
an EPIC journey in search of the cash register. They traveled through  
Antartica, rode camels through ice caves, ate fireworks on top of  
icecaps, and killed a couple of Nyan Cats. It wasn't long before they  
finally-

"FOUND THE CASH REGISTER!" Pit shouted.

Dude, you just interrupted me.

"Oh, sorry."

Good. Anyway, it wasn't long until they foun the cash r-

"-EGISTER!" Pit interrupted once again.

SIGH... Pit, shut up for a second. Yeah, they found the stupid cash register.

"Well sheesh, if that's what you've been tryin' to say this whole  
time, why didn't you-"

PIT, SHAAAAAAADDDAAAAAAPPPPP!

Pit sighed and instead walked over to the cash register, opened it, and...

"WAW! LOOOOOOK UT DIS HUMAZIN' PEICE O'JUNK!" Dark Pit randomly  
shouted, holding a hamazing peice of junk.

"Gimme dat." Krabs said, grabbing said peice of junk and eating it.  
Unfortunately, the peice of junk was actually a bomb, and Krabs  
exploded, revealing him to really be...

"...Jack Sparrow?" Pit asked.

"That's CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, mate." the pirate replied. Suddenly, all  
of Antartica transformed and shrank down into the Black Pearl, afloat  
on the pacific ocean.

"Whoa..." Pit and Dark Pit whoa'd in unison. Jack rolled his eyes and  
aimed a pistol at them.

"HEY, WOT'S THE BIG IDEA?" Pit shouted in a stupidly lame Australian accent.

Jack grinned evilly. "Isn't it obvious, mate? You two are now  
prisoners amongst the crew of the Black Pearl, savvy?"

**A/N: Woot! Lame cliffhanger! Sorry this chapter was kinda short, I'm**  
**in a bit of a rush.**

**R&R, everyone!**


	9. Saved By Nick Fury

Pit sighed out of pure boredom as he and Dark Pit sat tied to a chair  
onboard the Black Pearl. Neither of them knew exactly why they allowed  
themselves to be captured, or why they needed to be captured by Jack  
Sparrow. Therefore, Pit decided to ask.

"Yo, why'd ya capture us?"

Jack turned on his pink lawn chair to face Pit. "Because we're  
pirates, mate. Capturin' kinda meets our fancy."

"...You have stupid fancies, then."

"DO NOT INSULT WHAT I FANCY!"

"...What do you fancy?"

"Whatevers fanciful."

"Like... a bunch of acid-spitting weasels?"

Jack thought for a minute. "Well, I do enjoy those weasels, so... YES!"

Pit nodded and then gave a mighty war cry, prompting thousands of  
acid-spitting, pyschotic, weed-wacker-weilding-weasels to burst onto  
the scene.

"HOLY FREAKIN' CHUCK NORRIS COFFEE!" Dark Pit screamed as the  
weasels began hacking his face off. After giving the dark angel a  
beating (which he would remember until he became  
three-thousand-six-and-a-two-thirds years old), they began torturing  
Jack.

"AH HAHAHA!" one of the weasels laughed, shoving a bowl of chili into  
Jack's face.

"OMIGOSH, EET BURNZ! EET BURNZ!" the pirate screamed. The weasels  
rolled their eyes and began ripping the ship apart.

Pit, Dark Pit, and a badly singed Jack Sparrow could only watch as the  
rodents sabotaged the ship and it slowly began to sink.

All hope was lost...

**_ -THE END-_**

...

...

...

...Do you think that was the real ending?

IF YOU DID: Pffft. Ur stupid.

IF YOU DIDN'T: Yay for you.

AHEM! REAL ENDING!

Suddenly, Nick Fury came by on a surfboard, swinging an electric  
guitar around in a drunken state of invincibility! With power beyond  
the TV remote, he single-guitarily brought the demonic weasels to  
justice. What a nice guy.

Nick Fury smiled victoriously as he stood on the wreckage of the Black  
Pearl in a heroic pose that would even put Superman to shame.

Pit breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you soooo much, sir. How could  
we ever repay you?"

Nick thought for a minute. "Well, you could tapdance in your underwear  
with a baloon animal tied to a your head and hold a pineapple in each  
hand and sing a dopey song and jump up and down and spin in a stupid  
motion and eat a wookie."

That's exactly what Pit did.

"Uh... I was actually just kidding." Nick pointed out after witnessing  
Pit's horrific dance. Dark Pit and Jack had both fainted from pure  
fear.

Pit quickly stopped dancing and sat on a cactus.

"YOW! WHAT THE BOOFUS IS A CACTUS DOING ON THE PACIFIC OCEAN?" the  
angel shouted angrily.

Nick stared at him. "You're freaking me out, man..."

"Oh, sorry..." Pit replied.

"Nah, don't worry about it. Anyway, I came here to give you, Jack, and  
Dark Pit a message."

"Really? What is it?"

"Well... you three have been chosen to join The Avengers."

**Gnat1: Yay! Supah-random plot twist XD Thank y'all to AngelAxexinf,**  
**Mario013, and 9.0 playa for keeping up with this story!**

**R&R!**


	10. A Conversation in a Jeep

"So... let's clear things up. You want us to join the Avengers?" Pit  
asked as he, Dark Pit, Jack Sparrow, and Nick Fury rode across the  
ocean in Fury's extremely expensive and fancy jeep.

"Yup!" Nick Fury answered in an excited manner. "If we are to combat  
the forces of Loki, then we need to- OMIGOSHYPANDA!"

Nick Fury quickly swerved his jeep around the shark that was standing  
on the water surface, barely missing it and avoiding a bloody result.

"...As I was saying, if we are to combat Loki, then we'll need more  
cinnamon rolls."

"...Wat." Pit, Dark Pit, and Jack Sparrow said in unision.

Nick Fury looked at them like they were crazy.

"I carefully explain everything, and you say 'Wat'? You mean... you  
DON'T KNOW WHY WE NEED CINNAMON ROLLS?"

"I love me a good cinnamon roll, mate." Jack Sparrow said, before  
getting slapped by Dark Pit.

"PAY ATTENTION." the dark angel ordered.

The pirate nodded. "Yes mummy."

"...Anywayzees, cinnamon rolls are Loki's true weakness." Nick Fury  
explained. "So we decided to create a NEW Avengers team to go over to  
Barney's Bakery and buy some!"

Pit facepalmed. "You gotta be poopin' kidding me..."

"Oh, but I'm not." Nick Fury replied. He then proceeded to pull a long  
roll of paper out of his ear. "Would you like me to explain the  
roster?"

The other three rolled their eyes. "Fine..."

"Alright then! The members of this new Avengers team go as follows:  
Pit, Dark Pit, Jack Sparrow,-"

"CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow!" Jack corrected.

Nick pulled out a chainsaw. "SHADDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPP!"

Jack shaddap'd.

"AS I WUZ SAYING, the roster goes as follows: Pit, Dark Pit, freakin'  
CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow,-"

"Ah, you remembered to say 'Captain'. Dank you." Jack inrerrupted again.

Nick pulled out a bat and slammed it into Jack's head. "Anyhow, after  
that we have Gumby, Wreck-It Ralph, Bob the Tomato, Larry the  
Cucumber, and Luke Skywalker."

Dark Pit's eye twitched. "...Gumby? Seriously? Bob? Larry? YOU ARE  
SERIOUSLY TEAMING US UP WITH A GREEN CLAY FREAK AND THE MAIN  
CHARACTERS OF VEGGIETALES?"

"Well, I thought it was a good idea..."

"IT IS NOT!"

"...Okay okay, cheezits..." Nick sighed as he looked out over the  
ocean from his small jeep.

"Um, Mr. Fury, who's driving this thing?" Pit asked while shoving a  
popsicle up his nose.

"Whose driving? Well, that would be Gnat."

"Oh, Gnat. Well, at least it wasn't Danica Patric- wait, GNAT?" Pit  
shouted in question. I turned around and gave them a weak grin.

"Uh, hey guys!" I greeted.

"I'M GONNA FREAKIN' KILL YOU!" Dark Pit shouted angrily.

"No, no you won't. That would be far too violent." I pointed out.

Jack lifted an eyebrow. "Wait, isn't this story rated T?"

"Well, yeah, but I only did that just to be safe..."

"So you really have no reason to rate this T? THERE WAS NO VIOLENCE,  
AND NO LANGUAGE!"

"Actually, there was a tad of language back in chapter-"

"NO THERE WASN'T! YOU CENSORED ALL OF IT! YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO  
REASON TO RATE THIS T!"

I rolled my eyes and snapped my fingers. Suddenly, a huge shark jumped  
out of the water and ripped Dark Pit out of the car. It dragged him  
into the water, sinking his teeth into the angel and staining the  
water red. He ripped him limb from limb! But that was only the  
beginning. Slowly and painfully, the shark ripped the thin veins out  
from the-

"You happy now, Jack?" I asked.

The pirate nodded, his eyes widened in shock. I smiled politely and  
revived Dark Pit with a magic pineapple dispenser.

I then piloted the jeep over to a small island.

"Gentlemen..." Nick Fury announced. "Welcome to the Avengers Seabase!"


End file.
